emotions--

@cine, E-max. with Vincent and his buddy! :)

2006-02-08T18:14:00.000+08:00

dear diary and friends,
time,6:18 and here i am at cine, E-max, the new lanshop here. so cold and so cozy, a place to be in when your down or maybe when your up up and up! haha okay, i know i sound crazy but i'm actually feeling so alive becus i've done something i'm proud of. heh ;) guess my girlfriends should be proud of me too. finally i'm out of the damn relationship that i've struggled for long.. now i am free again! hehe ;) but i still need plenty of time to get over lots of stuffs. but i believe i will pull thru this phase, at least i will never let a guy to pull me down. NO WAY! heh i love being this way and i love what i've decided. =) so thank you GOD and of cos my dearest girlfriends for supporting me throughout. Of cos, thank you Vincent for being there too. =) you got to be strong yourself ya!

hmm results are coming out this friday.. Gosh so damn fast!!! I wish all of you the very best =)
GOD bless all~ :)

new life...

2006-01-14T01:01:00.000+08:00

hey guys and dearest diary,
first of all, my apologies for not blogging for such a long time. my com has been down and i'm at my cousin's place, sleepover tonight so got this opportunity to update my blog. :) Well, its about 2 weeks since the new year and happy 2006 to all of ya!
The last few weeks of my 2005 sucked and even till this day, my life has been somewhat down. I'm despair about the break-up and drowned myself in work and school. In case some of ya do not know, i'm actually having the 3months j.c trial at the Millennia Institute. Its full of zestfulness and fun during the orientation and i'm real happy to have met friends like Fang yi and also became closer to Tjie Siew. =) Though the mass lectures were kinda tough and boring, but i will go to school for knowledge and for ya, Tjie Siew. haha.
I would love to take this opportunity to thank Cindy and Sammie, my two lovely girlfriends for going through this period of time with me. Of cos, I will not leave you out, that is my 'husband', Abhisek, for being here with me too. And also, Tjie Siew and my sweetest cousin, Grace. Thank you all for going through this break-up and breakdown with me. Without you all, I guessed I would still be as foolish and silly. Thank you so much. :)
The pain in my heart is a torment that I'm going through now. Forgive me for everything, the mistakes and all but think about it, have you been here for me all this while? Afterall that we've been through and all that I've put into this relationship of ours, you could just forgo everything because of that very incident. I can't hold back my tears no more. You will never know how much pain i'm going through, right here alone. Sometimes, I wish i never were to meet you...
But, still i would carry you in my heart.. Take Care........

A day at Cindy's house with Sammie =)

2005-09-29T17:36:00.000+08:00

dear diary,
sorry for not updating for ages. hehe the prelims just ended and now its one month to the major o'levels! ;) well, this time round its not a feeling of anxiousness but don't know why i can't wait for the exams to arrive so soon and i can't wait till 22nd Nov 05! haha cos it the last paper of the o'lvls! woohoo! =) now we must all buck up and score so well. hehe wish you all the very best! =) muacks.
currently, i'm at Cindy's house with Sammie now. hehe sammie is a pest. argh soooooo noisy. sigh, we miss someone who belongs to us. baby, if you are reading this, i do hope you are good and please come back to us soon yea! four of us is better than 3 ya? :) hmm, too long never update blog somehow like no inspiration. :( sorry if this post bore you readers ya? hehe btw, i hope the handsome guy who looks like Julian He will appear infront of my bestie, Cindy's eyes again! haha baby, i wish you so much love soon! love you babes-sammie,cindy&me! haha and you, kelvin! =)

God bless. ++ i'm missing you++
esse:)

A tribute to the people who make a difference in my life

2005-09-07T19:11:00.000+08:00

A tribute to the people who make a difference in my life

A special entry specially going out to you guys. I decided to have it named, “A tribute to the people who make a difference in my life,” because I think that we humans often neglect our loved ones around us or either only wait till special occasions to let the person know how much he meant to us in our hearts, but I want to take this opportunity to pen down my feelings and sentiments towards the people who make a difference in my life. Hope you guys will enjoy reading it. :)

31st Aug 2005
As I woke up this morning, I was feeling refreshed and was eager to get to school immediately as I got a big aim on this very day, because it’s teacher’s day! I want to hug all my beloved teachers and let them know how much I appreciate them all this while and yeah, I did hug a few of my teachers just when I reached school that morning. Hehe it was such a sweet thing to do early in the morning, don’t you agree? ;) It’s my first “to-do item” of the day.

For teacher’s day, the students put up an amazing performance, like never before and the audiences as well as the teachers must have enjoyed it. My favourite item was the opening dance by Kelvin and Company and it was wonderful especially when my lovely Kelvin was in it. Hehe my baby you, you have no idea how good you were dancing on the stage, where it put me into so much excitement and it was perfect! Kelvin, remember the other day during Mother Tongue lesson, when I shared with the class about you being my idol and the whole class was somewhat agreeing with me? Baby, that’s from my heart and I always believed that you should maximize that potential of yours to pursue being a great singer in future cos’ baby, you simply deserved to! A good-looking guy who’s talented and popular among his peers, Kelvin certainly is one good catch that every girl would love to have. =)

After the concert, we were all ready for the ACES day workout and if you were there experiencing the fun, you would have never thought the whole school was so full of participation and energy. Everyone was so spontaneous and we were all crossing our arms to work out on the part, where we did the “leg-kicking” movement, which my class named it the “Andrew’s Specialty.” You must see how funny he does that movement. It’s like a stiff body with his little legs moving – a human toy! Wahaha ;p Well, ask him and he will show it to you peeps! Hehe *;) It was indeed a beautiful day in school. Happy Teacher’s Day! =)

30th Aug 2005
Needless to say, I woke up with a wide smile and a lovely mood this particular day because it’s humpty dumpty’s day and the start of it was one of sweetness, totally perfect moment. Haha sounds interesting yeah? Well, it was at 12 mid-night, where I received a phone call from this guy, who asked me to open my room windows and as I did, I saw him out there with his usual gorgeous smile that makes my heart smile naturally, and asking me to get out of my house so quickly.

Hehe that moment was so incredible as I myself, could not have believed that a guy would appear before me, when the clock strike alarming that its 12 mid-night, signaling the start of my birthday. :) No words or actions could actually describe how I felt at that instance but a little warmth hug to thank him for such sweet doings. To the special you, thanks for giving me such an awesome start of my birthday. You make me feel that I am a piece of treasure in your heart, am I? Haha oops ;p

As I reached school that morning, I saw my brother Terence outside the school gate and received a handshake from him. After which, it was Sammie, who waited outside the office for me and there she gave me a hug to wish me too. Aww~ thanks baby!

^. ^ Initially, I thought it will be like any other day, where I head to school for lessons, get home after school, sleep and the usual routine of my daily life hence, I was in a normal mood but it wasn’t for long because I have a bunch of adorable class/schoolmates who made my day into a remarkable and fantastic one. =]

I’d never forget that moving scene when my class, 5C, sang me the birthday song together with Miss Goi and Miss Soo. It was rather sweet of them to have allowed such warmth scene to happen then. Moreover, what adds on more impact was when Sheena sang me the Chinese version of the birthday song and guess what? She was on her knees as she sang it, as though she was proposing to me! Haha she got all the words right and thank goodness, she did not pronounce the first sentence, “zhu ni shen ri kuai le,” with the “zhu” the pronunciation that meant a pig. Haha;) I really appreciated it all, my dear Sheena and my dearest classmates. Thank you so much, it means a lot to me! =)

After school that day, Christy’s gang was kidnapping me as they planned to get a ransom from my family. Haha but this kidnapping was done in a different style as of cos, I was not tied up and I chose to follow them around. Haha I am a good target to be kidnapped yeah? * Touchwood * Hehe but, if you are a kidnapper please do think twice before kidnapping me because I am actually a pauper and it will be your great loss. Haha;) By the way, they made me wait for them sitting outside the office for God knows how long and hello, on my birthday?! ARGH!! What is this man?! Haha just teasing. ;p

However, it was worth waiting, as I received a bunch of three big heart-shaped balloons from the 3 babes, Christy, Wiki and Sammie. The balloons were cute and lovely. But hey, these girls actually stole it from the school hall decoration for the teacher’s day celebration the day after. Haha but stealing for me was nothing bad actually. Haha oops ;) All of which, have words written from them and they were words of wisdom and absolutely written from within their hearts. Thank you babes:) [Christy, I will beat those boobies one of these days] Heh

Then, we proceeded to the destination, of which I thought it would be a secluded place for me to be bashed up. Haha I was fearless though cos it tuned out to be a restaurant filled with nice ambience and atmosphere – The Swensen’s. I was indeed lucky to be kidnapped by them because not only do I get great attention but also they even treated me to fabulous food oh food! Hehe heaven baby! ;) But, you guys actually forgot that I had to finish up 2 glasses of water for my punishment of getting the right number during the guessing game. Haha I escaped it! WOOHOO!! =p

In the midst of eating, both my God-brothers, Jon and Limwei, came to look for me to send me their wishes and they joined in to eat at the opposite table of ours. Having their presence there was a great contentment as well as fulfillment because they combined the warmth together with my friends. How nice can it be ya? ;)

To Jon, thanks for remembering my birthday ever since my 13th birthday. It definitely means a lot to me, a lot! =]

To Limwei, thanks that I need not send a drunkard home this time round. ;) Hehe thanks for standing by me all the times when I needed someone to.

To Terence, although we have not been talking much to each other lately, but I have to let you know that you are one person that has become such an important person in my life. The letter you gave me on my previous birthday, and your frequent trips to and fro the hospital whilst I was hospitalized then, made me treasure you even more. I always can’t find the right words to say to you but in actuality, you do mean a lot in my heart. Thanks for being a part of me. =)

To Jianzhi, meimei always loved having you around cos’ you adore me so much. Hehe I love being pat pat on the head and calling me “little fatty!” I’d never forget those cherished days we shared, you dried my hair when we were caught in the rain, you carried me running to Terence’s house while I was having severe stomach cramps out of a sudden and many more sweet moments we had, were unforgettably beautiful.

To Yaoyong, my Mos-burger God-bro, I’ve always enjoyed our going out days together. And “smooth hands!” hehe;)
I’m so thankful for God send me you brothers to adore, protect me and to take care of me. But, minus off the part when you guys bully me. Hehe ;p love you all. –Brother&Sisterhood always!! =)

All rights, I guess I shall go back to the Christy’s gang or else you guys will complain that I am biased. Hehe despite, enjoying out feast, as usual we took thousands and one photos. Haha the celebration ended with the cake they chose for me, yummy chocolate cake, and with the complimentary firehouse ice-cream dish from the restaurant itself. Aww~ it was a marvelous time! Thank you buddies! =]

In addition, I was given 2 pecks of kisses on both my cheeks, the left one from Wiki, and the right one from Sammie, while we were posing for the photo taking. Haha I was not only flabbergasted but I’m touched too. Hehe but if only the kiss was from the Eurasian guy, that would be WOW, HEAVEN OH HEAVEN! Heheheh I’m not asking for too much, am I? ;p But, having to take a snapshot with him is yet enough. Hehe thanks to the courtesy of my bestie, Cindy’s camera again! =]

I felt like a superstar that very day because everyone was snatching to take snapshots with me and with the bunch of balloons in my hands, how can I not feel special yeah? Hehe;) I had a simply perfect day!

My dearest friends, who celebrated for me, are none other than Cindy, Christy, Sammie, Wiki, Sheena, Marilyn, Tiffany, Jonathan Teo and the guy who nicknamed himself, “Sexy Dragon,” thanks so much for making birthday a meaningful event and for inputting so much happiness in me. My apologies for making you guys spent a bomb on me for the feast. =( Heh I really enjoyed myself and I truly felt the sincerity in all of you. Throughout the years in Monk’s Hill, I never had a lonely birthday but all that filled me with surprises year after year. You guys complete my last year’s birthday having to experience in school. Seriously, not a word perfect could describe how I felt. Thanks a million, dearest! =)

Lastly, to those of whom, called to send me wishes, sent me messages through friendster, e-mailed me, or smsed me, or wished me personally, I can’t be thankful enough to you guys, for having the sincere thought as well as your warmest greetings. :)

To my family, thanks for the gifts and the love we always share. I can’t imagine what will my life be without having you guys. :)
May happiness be with you all always, to soar in life with successes, and to live in the wealth of healthiness, are what I wished for before I blew out the candles. And of cos’, to have WORLD PEACE! =) Love you all so much. God bless you all.

~ Your kindness was appreciated right from the start. Please accept the thanks deep from my heart. ~
~ Thank you for the treasure of your friendship, for showing me God’s special heart of love. ~
~ What brings joy to the heart is not so much the friend’s gifts as the friend’s love. ~
~ Like ice cream, our friendship has so many flavors! And some day I hope to return all your favors! ~

Forever love,
Esther

2005-08-04T14:22:00.000+08:00

dear diary, its been close to a week since i last update on my blog. for now, we are left with 42 days to our prelims and 95 days to our o'lvls. ;( heh but i shall share with you guys about an interesting account that happened during class time today. hee as you all know the GHOST festival is arriving- tonight 12am! haha and our class was so excited about it or shall i say crazy about it? Hello its just another normal day yet it seems as if after tonight, everything will change into a scary and frightening sight! heh

We had 3periods of F&N lessons today and all 3 were relief by different teachers. The 1st period was Ms Nor, where we had an amazing lesson on the essay so powerfully written about the parallels of the nature in conjuction with Beethoven's Symphony. Its was beautifully written. :) The 2nd period we had Ms Au, where we chatted about life and all. I miss her! & the excitement came when we had Ms Goi to relief us for the 3rd period. well, we thot it will be yet another talking session or rather self-revision period but guess what? we had a nice time frightening Sheena and the whole plan was certaintly enjoyable and we laughed till our hearts' content. haha that scene was crazy. Jaffar&Manoj were like taking the mop and stuck into the damn statue or what they called, "the maid!" hahaha then they placed it right at the door with all the rooms' lights switched off and awaiting for Sheena's return from the toilet. hehe and when she came, she screamed as what we thought and gosh we even had Manoj to hide and we pretended that he was around us. haha Sheena was freaked out- shivering like mad! haha we had a real good laughing time. If the whole class was there, the room will be filled with even louder laughter. heh

Sorry Sheena, but we had a real good time! hehe but whatever it is, there's is nothing to be afraid of so relax and don't worry. Just remember do not look into the mirror! wahaha oops! hehe alrights, Cindy waiting for me. Gtg. have so much fun and Happy Birthday to Singapore! =) God bless ~

2005-07-29T13:02:00.000+08:00

dear diary, christy is beside me now. she's cheeky wants me to introduce her handsome guys. wahaha. i shld intro STEVEN to her instead. hehehehe ;))))))) i'm in school now. heh my chatterbox everytime got probs one. argh~ huhus. heh the weekends are coming but i have to work gosh! cries* kekes. maybe i take MC again. heheh

well, this week has been a good week for me, i supposed! ever since the band concert, i can't wait to make my hair curly so soon! hahaha but seriously i look good in it yea? hehe *thick-skinned* as usual!! haha hmm i went to chocolate bar after the concert with chirsty, cindy, wiki & wendy! hey, 2 Cs, 2 Ws and me the E! haha its been long since i dance to the beat of r&b songs and gosh i love it!! thou we spent about 45mins there only, but i had a real good time. Apart from it, i saw zhiyin and eugene heng and we had a little chat. and that raymond! never really spoken to me! argh~ hmm then i had my friend, adrain, to send me home and afterwhich, i showered and my curly hairs are gone! then i went to lalaland and next thing to school! - 5hrs of slp! ;(

the day after, i went to CIndy's house after school and didn't have my tuition! so u know what? tuition is on tonight! and my friday is gone just like that! huhu. =( hmm not much assignments to be done but i do have lots of revision cos' 48days to prelims and 100days to 0'lvls. that makes it 122days to holidays! hehe ;) ahh i gotta get down to work and then fun fun fun. yea yea yea~~~
alrights, have fun buddies and luvv ya! "muack"ss",)" esse>>>

2005-07-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

26th July 05 -- mhmb concert -- curly hair, nice?- sponsored by Cindy! haha thanx babe! ;)

2005-07-25T16:32:00.000+08:00

dear diary, a week ago i was at Cindy's house. A week later, i'm here doing the same thing. hehehe;) well, my com spolit!!! Goodness sake! how can it ever go wrong when i always appreciate having my com around? maybe i take it for granted too. haix. see we'll never know the value of something till we lose it, yea? hmm Ms Goi reminded us that we left 52 days to prelims and 104 days to o'levels. :( time passes so fast. its like the 40th national day is around the corner, humpty dumpty day arriving and next thing teachers' day and the EXAMS! Gosh~ huhuhus... ;(

I shall update about what happened last friday, 22-7-05, at Grand Hyatt Hotel. It was the launch of Miss Soo's new workbook for the upper secondary and I went to help out plus support her. Of cos' me alone will not bring any fun so I called upon Cindy, Christy and there were Seraphina and Sharifah too. We had a real splendid time i supposed. Heh it was quite grand and the ambience there was superb. Very cold air-conditioned ballroom and all well done waiting for the event to begin. There were over 100+ teachers from the arts&home economics department arriving at the ballroom and shortly after they had their little lunch at the conference hall, they sat in the ballroom for the presentation of my teacher to be started with.

As the host made her way to address the event and introduced Miss Soo, the tension and nervousness of Miss Soo's emerged more and she sipped down her cup of pepsi before getting ready to get up the stage to give her speech&presentation. We sat quietly at the first row and were as nervous as her too. She began her speech with wrong words being pronounced and of cos' we were giggling away. The presentation went on for about 20mins and we had a real good time. Afterwhich, I presented a bouquet of fresh flowers to Miss Soo as a mark of respect as well as to congrats her on her good effort in publishing her new book. She was moved by our warmth and love towards her and thank us for coming to support her. The teachers who witnessed it were touched too and we received loud applause. aww. :)

I must thank Christy's mum and of cos herself for having to arrange such beautiful bonquet of flowers. Bright yellow and nice decoration. Thanks so much. I would love to extend my thanks to Christy for having me to hand the flowers to Miss Soo instead of herself. Thanks sweetie =)

The event ended with us taking photos and then we went different ways. Afterwhich, Cindy,Chirsty and me proceeded to Bugis village to eat at Burger King and we headed to the new National Library opp. Bugis Junction. The library is so big and we took 15mins to reach the 10th floor by escalator. Imagine how aching our legs were? Ouch! haha then we changed to taking the lift but the lift was superb slow that we went bersark! haha nono, I should use the new word that Cindy taught me this morning, "ditzy!" haha it means CRAZY! haha we were searching for the section on fiction + non-fiction books and guess what, it was actually at the very basement of the library! Dotzzz... Then, I borrowed 3 books using Christy's card as I forgot to bring mine along and headed home in my daddy's mini van. :) I had a good friday ending with watching the 9pm series show on channel8- Xiaoan! haha ;)

I spent my weekends working and the business was bad for the very first time. haha so boring without customers, stand there starring around and dozing off. heh but I did my chemisty notes on the topic about diamonds, graphite, silicon and so on. haha proud of myself cos i never touch my science for a long time. oops! hehe;)

hehe humans are nonsensical. When there's a lot of customers, the salesperson will grumble and 9 out of 10 will sure to be of bad mood and when there's little customers, he or she will feel bored and sleepy. haha of cos i ain't one of those, maybe I am but not so serious lah! haha wekends past and Mon, which is today come along! Wow. with this time passing, i wonder how crazy i will go in no time rushing to finish up my coursework part A and B. Shucks! ;( Its okay, I'll pull through!!! ;) To you guys, we will work together! Mu-acksss~

I can't wait for tomorrow's band concert but on the other hand, I'm petrified. I'm scared and i'm upset. I do not know how will i react if i were to see him or what will become of me after that? I've waited so long to see him, wanting to bump into him in the streets or whatever events but now I'm seriously scared! That feeling inside sucks. Its painful yet ... unknown... Sigh, but whatever it is, I will go cos' its the last ever mhss band concert and I'll be there to support the band and my lovely Kelvin! :) Hope to see ya all at the band concert tomorrow especially you, Rosanne! :)

To Cindy, thanks for welcoming me to your place again and hey, i wanna spend the rest of my live having you as my best friend! Love ya~

God bless you all~ "Muacks" :)

2005-07-24T21:03:00.000+08:00

my idol & me ;) "mua-cks"

2005-07-18T17:18:00.000+08:00

dear diary, i'm at Cindy's house now. hehe ;) today monday a new start of another week again. time certaintly passes by so swiftly. i'm gonna faint soon! haha so that means left 50+ days to prelims and 8O+ days to o'levels. ;( woOhoo. well, i guess things are better now just that i haven't talk to the other friend yet. ;( haix. if he reads this, please let him know that i'm really sorry to have flared up that day. tell him that i didn't mean to and i'm deeply sorry for that. i know he still must have not recover from it, but dear diary let him know that i've been thinking about him. cos' he is simply a nice buddy to me. Let him know okay? And yes, he is none other than Kelvin Kiong!! :)
well, shall take this opportunity to thank my angel, all time angel, Zhenning! He sent me this sweet message on 17-July-05, 00:46 , " Whatever it is, i will be by your side, thats a lifelong promise." Dear friend, i was really moved by it. I can't thank you enough for washing away my tears and pain all these while by giving me that warmth smile of yours. =) God bless you so!

I shall share with you guys about a funny thing that happened during p.E lesson today. Haha to those who witnessed it, you all must be bursting into laughter each time you were to think of it yea? haha damn! I had an ugly fall man. haha Andy passed the ball to me, i guessed the force was so great that I made a 180 degress turn and landed my butts straight onto the basketball court. Ouch!! Painful. Painful. But i was laughing away and guess what, the whole class was!!! I can't imagine how i actually fell. so embarassing! ;) haha but at least we played a real good captain's ball game.

heh after school, Cindy and me went to dine at Pizza Hut, lucky plaza, and though the food was pretty good i didn't eat much due to gastric flu! Ecks! imagine having delicious food infront of ya but u CANT EAT THEM! huhuhu... ;(( thanks Cindy for caring me though not as much lah wahaha. oOpss.. alrights, gotta get things printed and home i'll go.. yawns.. misS ya all~ muacks.. :) Hope daddy get well soon- he sprained his back! sobs. daughter loves you! muach~

2005-07-15T18:32:00.000+08:00

dear diary, i did not have a pleasant day yesterday. In fact, it was terrible! I did not know why the hell did I have such behaviour? I walked out from my best friend's birthday celebration, at that very moment when they are taking photos! Gosh, this thing happened to me two years ago on my birthday, where my god-sis then walked out from my birthday celebration and was reluctant to even cut the cake with me! It happened to me and I jolly well knew how hurt it felt- how painful it was for me! I can never forget her back facing me, facing my friends and walked out of the karaoke room. But I could never believe I would do the exact thing to my dearest friends, thats not me and I will never want to be this way-NEVER! But i just did last evening! For whatever reasons, I seriously did not know. Maybe you will never understand the pain I'm feeling inside me. Nobody does! I am a failure in friendships and relationships. Nobody was to blame for what happened last night, I never did blame you thus you need not feel infuriated or irritated. I know they must have thought you caused me to walk away but no, I just wanted to. So it ain't you okay! I'm sorry to have let you into the mood of irritation. That's me, easily making people feel irritated and angry. If that's the case, fine I'll face it all by myself. I just wanted to lighten up everyone's tiredness by being stupid and acting around but it ain't appreciated. Guess its my stupidity to act dumb. I shouldn't have said those words. I should be like any other, be quiet and eat. Then, I guess everyone will be happy yea? Anyway, its not that I'm doing any forms of entertainment. So yea, i'm fine. I'm good. I'm walking away from this misery. I'd rather runaway than to face and solve it. I will never learn the importance of treasuring though I often encourage you all to cherish one another. You know what, I will never learn! I am a stubborn freak. Like it or hate it, thats me! Maybe after reading this, you would change the impression of me and may even drift apart from me. Well, go ahead so long as your happy. I'm numb about everything. Even my love has walked out of my life, I can take it....

my heart is pouring.. my life is in darkness.. i still walk alone, you will never come back, thats for sure...its okay,i will let you go.

i can understand why friendship do not last for me. i'm sorry. don't be the next victim, i ain't a good friend afterall...

2005-07-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

Gosh! Its past mid-night and i'm still awake! Plus there's school in about 6hours time. ;) hehe I just wanted to wish my dearest Christy a very happy 17th birthday as well as to Ron, a happy 16th birthday! :) Its a blessing to share the same birthday dates together and remember God loves you all~

My dear Christy, better work hard and don't be lazy anymore alrights? I want the best for you and I am sure you can make it in any aspects as long as you work for it! Nothing comes for free and easily. You reap what you sow. Baby, i'm always here for you ya!

All the best to you guys N'levels and of cos' to the graduating batch of MHSS 2005, best wishes to the upcoming major O'levels! God bless ya~ Hugss :)

I'm at Cindy's house! -- 6:12PM

2005-07-13T18:12:00.000+08:00

dear diary, i'm currently at Cindy's place. :) In case you don't know, I skipped my tuition class. huhu. partly cos' i wanna finish up my f&n coursework part B and also I wanted to print some important things from Cindy's printer. Cos' i don't owe a printer. I'm not rich Cindy! Cries :( haha. but gurl,thanks for welcoming me to your house everytym ya.. =) heh oops my daddy downstairs alrdy. go home den update k? muacks cindy! :)

2005-07-12T20:00:00.000+08:00

me @ home. [[ self-obsession ]] hehe ;) that's me! but if you guys got a chance, you should view the pics in CIndy's hp. - I think that's another side of me! haha don't laugh ar cindy! ;)

2005-07-12T19:51:00.000+08:00

Swarovski - Cinderalla shoe crystal! Aww~ my dream shoe! [[ in my dreamland ]] kekes;)

60 days to prelims, 90 days to major O'levels!!!

2005-07-12T19:30:00.000+08:00

my dearest buddies,

sorry for the late update of my blog. but i feel i have a lonely blog. huhuhu :( but i know there's a particular U who visit me everyday or at least more often than the rest. I know who you are! thanks sweets~ :)

alrights, in case you all don't know - the exams are coming so so soon! 60days to prelims and 90days to O'levels! Ahhh!! So fast! but what am I doing? no proper revision yet! goshhh~~ ok sounds a boring entry today. Maybe cos' i just woke up from my afternoon nap! heh sorry wor.

my dearest friends, let us all work towards the end and achieve great results alrights? We all can do it!! :) All the way... luv ya guys~

God bless the world to have world peace. Bless London to recover so soon after the terrible blast. Bless one and all~

s.i.c.k. worn-out. :(

2005-06-25T19:38:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps, been long since I last update my blog. Sorry been busy at work. Hope you guys are doing so fine. By the way, school going to re-open on Monday, 27th June 05, and I simply can't wait to see you guys! ;) But, I guess its gonna be a tough week cos' all of us will be rushing through our F&N project. Deadline: Friday! Gosh, Kill me! ;( History is repeating again! Last minute's work! argh! When will I learn?! Sigh. But i'm gonna face it, no point sighing here and there cos' my work won't be done either so let us all work hard for it yea? A1, we can do it! =) Good luck my friends! =]

Well, I'm sick today therefore I got an MC from the polyclinic and got a day off from work - finally! hehe wanted to finish up my homework but I slept the whole afternoon! - Sleepy Head! Where's my preseverance?! =[ No one to motivate me. I'm lifeless...

haha, i'm accountable for my own life yeah? Alrights, my sanity is driving me nuts so pls tolerate my nonsense. ;) I bought the newspapers today-222 pages! Worthy! heh. Got myself into reading philosophy lately and its amazing! You gotta read the book on "Women's rights," by John McGregor 2005. Perfectly written!

"Almost here" - by Brian Mcfadden and Delta Goodman. - My current fave song! :)

Love ya guys.

'Baby, I still miss you! - Wherever you are, I wish for your happiness and good health! Take Care always...'

25-June-05

2005-06-03T17:24:00.000+08:00

i love this pic a lot! cos' i was loved by her-- only you, sam, could give me such warmth that i never felt before. baby i love you! ;)

2005-06-03T17:16:00.000+08:00

Captain of Capers Restaurant, Regent Hotel. I feel a sense of security. oOhoHh~~~ ^.^

2005-06-03T16:43:00.000+08:00

ms jo. soo & ms ess. teo. ;) wahahas. notice a guy at the corner of the picture? behind behind--> can see?! lol. - cindy's idea! haha.

2005-06-03T16:33:00.000+08:00

sheena & esse ;) gal, i want chocolates! ;) we are the chocolate-lovers! kekes.

2005-06-03T16:30:00.000+08:00

looking for maids anyone? oopsie~ ;) hehe becos' we are all in white therefore, it seems as if we're MAID WANTED! ;) bleah. btw,jk!hee` ^.^

2005-06-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

At Regent Hotel, My best budd, Cindy & Me! =) Self-timing, baby your camera best! haha Olympus~

2005-06-03T16:22:00.000+08:00

16th May 2005- Food & Nutrition Students - @ Regent Hotel SIngapore, Capers Restaurant, Workshop on Culinary Skills.

2005-06-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

Dearest buddies,
my apologies for not updating my blog for more than a month or so. Sorry, was busy then preparing for my mid-year examinations. - "preparing" haha but well, its over so yeah I shall not dread over it no more and despite the lousy results I got, I shall not relinquish but rather I will work harder for my dream. :) So, to my lovely class 5C, I really want you all to do so well and we all shall work towards our goals, yeah? We can do it! =) Just remember : we put in 100% hardwork and 10% perspiration plus a 10% determination and 10% persistance = success! - we reap what we sow - All the way, buddies! ;)
All rights, hereby I would like to pray to God to bless the world with peace because recently there have been floods and landslides going on in other parts of the world and several precious lives were perished and its a devastating happening to hear. Lord, please bless the world and please bless good health in everyone. Thank you, God. Amen. Love you guys~ Have fun always :)

2005-04-17T17:01:00.000+08:00

Its my honour to have taken a pic with the hunk, bollywood actor, Abhisek Rai on 15 April 2005 at Suntec City. By the way, he only informs me when he's in town. ;) ooh lala~

2005-04-17T16:52:00.000+08:00

helle&esse, 15 April 05. =]

2005-04-16T23:17:00.000+08:00

football team?! okay, i guess we're the sexy team. haha thats why the guys shouted, "sex," when the camera man flashed the shot. haha =D -happy birthday, andrew!- frm all of us. :)

2005-04-16T22:54:00.000+08:00

royce, esse. :)

2005-04-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

do-re-mi. i'm always the shortest. :( haha left-right, cindy, helle, esse. =]

2005-04-16T22:33:00.000+08:00

150405- my bunch of amazing class/schmates at sky garden..oohh surprise for andrew's bdae.heh hw swt cn tis couple be?lovey dovey;

2005-04-16T22:19:00.000+08:00

in da toilet..we gurls went crazy jus becos' we do not want to attend that afrose's class.hehehe;)

I thank the lord for having you guys- true friends who make a real difference in my life! :)

2005-04-14T19:18:00.000+08:00

dear diary&friends,
Today I shall talk about friendship- where friends play an important role in all our lives. It was the love and care of friends that I saw today during my physical education lesson and it triggered me deep down that there was so much warmth from people around us.
As I was running my 2.4km run this morning, with some of my classmates as well as schoolmates, I saw a specialness in almost everyone and that very specialness is what I called or felt - warmth. It began when this pair of friends, who belonged to the other class, were running infront of me and the norm was that one of the pair was the runner, while the other was the pacer, and the pacer was really so caring that he held his friend's hands and told him not to give up and if you were to feel difficult or uncomfortable, I'd carry you till you could breathe well and run again. I don't know if they were the ones who pushed to to run even further but what I know was that it was something that I am seeing, right infront of my very eyes' that these buddies were not just friends but more so, they gave me this feeling of brotherhood- an undefined love. It is definitely a part of life's greatest lesson to learn from or maybe something that is of inspirational thoughts and feelings.
For me, I was as lucky as the guy who had his buddy's support and care because I, too, have a wonderful friend of mine, Wiki, who never gives up hopes on me and someone whom I could call a true friend. As a pacer, you are supposedly to run with your partner during the rounds of even numbers but Wiki paced me throughout my whole run and pushed me through it all. How nice to have someone beside you when you are feeling so deadbeat and so in pain, don't you agree with me? Well, and this is not the first time she has been doing this for me as she has supported me from secondary.1 till now. Amazing as it is, yeah? :) My dear girl, I can't thank you yet enough for all that you had and still doing for me.
However, I am so sorry to let you down and also to Cindy,Abhisek, Roy, Yu how, and Andrew, that I did not manage to pass my 2.4km run. Darn, I just missed it by 20secounds! Nevertheless, despite my failure, you guys let me realise the love in you all and more so, the never ending encouragement, the push and pulling of my hands to run as fast as I could, and even interestingly as it was, offering to carry me till the finishing line. Oh lord, I thank you so much for giving me such marvelous classmates, who had been there for me whenever I needed support and encouragement. Lord, you made me into realising how important it is to have friends in my life and that I should move on in my life rather than to think back on those unhappy moments of my life, where friends hurted me so much and where I felt I could not trust anyone anymore.
My dear friends, the words that you all told me, " Esther, in our eyes, you are not a failure but you are a star, someone who tried all the way and even rejecting our offer to carry you as you want to achieve all by yourself, " I will never ever forget and will carry them with me for the rest of my lives. You guys are great friends, who play a significant part in my secondary lives and I sure can't do without you guys. Thank you, buddies!
Lord, thanks for the treasures in my life. =)
God bless,
14 April 05

2005-04-11T19:14:00.000+08:00

1I.04.05- mE in sCho0l LiBrAry - ^.^

-forever love-

2005-04-10T02:51:00.000+08:00

[090405]
A day filled with deep feelings.
I woke up at 5.30am in the morning and got myself prepared for my school's 39th annual speech and prize-giving day. Although, I was pretty tired after a week of school, the load of schoolwork, tests, rehearsals and the list goes on, I was kind of excited towards this important event.
As I walked into the hall of my school, the beautiful flowers and the lights that are by the side of the hall shined at those flowers, as though its glimmering and shimmering right at your eyes should you be so mesmerized by them. Then, of cos' the prize-winners, student audience, parents and guests were seated and waiting for the arrival of the guest-of-honour, Mr Tan Ee Ping. Upon arrival of Mr Tan, everyone applauded and gave him a warm welcome as he walked down his way towards the hall with the red carpets laid specially for his honour to walk. Following on, were of cos' the speech of the principal, Mr Syed, and Mr Tan. Both gave a spectacular and marvellous speech that morning and certainly a well-respectable piece of speech from honourable people like them.
The speech day carried on with the prize presentation and when its coming to my turn, I was kind of anxious and told derrick that I need to pee. Thats my reaction when I'm feeling excited or nervous. Somehow or rather, derrick calmed me down. Oh well, my dear sammie and cindy, he ain't that bad overall though it takes me awhile to realise, but he's still on the test. heh
After the speech and performance of the band and choir, we had our reception at the canteen and there, I met up with old friends like the diligent, Wei Yi, the intelligent, Vicki, the pretty, Clarissa, and our school top GCE O'levels, I must say the ultimate girl, Keerth and many others. But, before I left out Don's name, I must say few words of praises about this guy orelse he will cry. Yeah, you are emotional ya? haha ;) Well, Don's a pretty well-liked person by his peers, teachers and most of whom, the babes around him. Well done in your O'levels and I'm really happy that we fulfilled our promise to go up that stage to receive the Food&Nutrition award again. How nice it is to go up that stage with you for 3 times receiving this award and of cos' we both achieved the best student award in 2004 too.. Best competitors yeah? You will wait for my call next february all rights? s.m.i.l.e.s. :) - 39th Speech & prize-giving day- 9th April 05-
This part is for my brother, Raymond, and to his family as well. I understand the pain and bereavement of the demise of your beloved mother, but believe that God will bless her and that you all have to move on in life in order to let her rest in peace. My deepest sympathy and condolences to you all. God bless all~

2005-03-21T18:09:00.000+08:00

This was a special surprise created for me by zhenning.. thanks i'm truly touched! 21st March 2005.. :)

2005-03-21T17:52:00.000+08:00

sugarcane :)

back to sch -- >

2005-03-21T17:20:00.000+08:00

-21.m.a.r.c.h.05-
back to school day.. monday blueess with sleepy and dreamy moods *yawns heh but i never sleep! --> i listened okay? haha ;)
catch up with classmates and yeah we all laughed at cindy's new haircut.. oops` ^.^ babe,its cute&love it ok? =] moral of the story is don't go back to that damn RAVE barber! hahaha okok salon ya? :) heh by the way, thanks cindy for teaching me some skills in blogging. haha i know i'm a computer idoit so laugh all you want! bleahs =p and yea, thanks for that comfort. i hope i would get better soon =)
wish you guy good luck for tomorrow's maths test --vectors & transformations! woOhoo`` zZzzz..muackS..

2005-03-21T15:49:00.000+08:00

crazy day - cindy, samantha, helena & me -

2005-03-17T15:25:00.000+08:00

Reminiscing back on what we used to be, i can't help but cry. You said, " let memories remain as they are- beautiful . " I will & i respect your decisions. However, your always a part of me. A part that can never ever leaves me. I still miss you, always will be. -your friend always-

lost in my own world

2005-03-17T14:56:00.000+08:00

'negatively impacted in my life'..

so faraway.. where are you ? when my spirits are down and i'm so lost in sorrows, where are you? i'm lost... though, i promised to be alright and that i would lead a much better life ahead of me, i still think of you. memories memories memories.. driving me to insanity.. there's too much that time cannot erase with. i don't sing like i used to. i don't believe in trusting someone so dear anymore. i'm lost.. wherever you are, i pray that you are so fine. i pray for your health, your happiness and the love that you so deserve in this world. i miss you so..
do you know the worst thing in life is to miss someone so close to your heart?
it hurts..
only you can make me come back to my life, to the original me....
my dear friend, i'll be waiting...
my love..
-its the end of the world, it ended when i lost your love
-i wake up in the morning and i wonder why everything seem to be the same as they were
-i can't understand how life's goes on the way it does
-why does my heart goes on beating?
-why do these eyes of mine cry?
-don't they know its the end of the world
-it ended when you said goodbye

2005-03-17T14:17:00.000+08:00

aww~ randall, the charmer? ;)

2005-03-17T14:09:00.000+08:00

abhisek and me =)

2005-03-17T13:55:00.000+08:00

my bro ter & me :)

2005-03-17T13:52:00.000+08:00

[wiki and me]

2005-03-17T13:50:00.000+08:00

fine dining.. 8th March 05.. Cindy & Me =]

2005-03-17T13:48:00.000+08:00

me at novena square, long john silvers. :)

2004-11-21T01:31:00.000+08:00

Broken Vow (Written by Lara Fabian and Walter Afanasieff)
Tell me her name
I want to know
The way she looks
And where you go
I need to see her face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end
Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
When I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own
I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow
Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time
Chorus
I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to life than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end
Chorus

2004-11-18T02:08:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to my beloved family and friends.May you all be filled with so much love and happiness in your life. Smiles :)

2004-11-18T01:46:00.000+08:00

pOohbeAr!! ;pP hehe this picture was actually sent by a MMS message from this lovely guy, Vincent, and I retrieved it from the internet. It was sent on 8/10/04, the last day of my N'levels, where I was feeling down after being scolded by my favourite teacher, and he sent this picture to cheer me up! thanks sweetie ;)

This part is written specially for my sweetheart-- Brenda ;)

2004-11-18T01:45:00.000+08:00

To: My dearest brenda,
hey, you silly girl! Why complain that I never write anything about you in my blog? haha must be patient.. My blog like 2 days old only.. ;P hehe here's this part for you already so don't be sad already okay? Come, hugs! ;) Well, I need not make this so formal cos' you&me no need any formalities, yeah? haha just wanna let you know you've been a part of me all these while for these six years. Life has always been a great pleasure with you around. We've been through more than anything together. From those days of being "bad" girls till this day where we both grow up till our teenage age and yeah being in our sweet sixteen together too! :) Of cos' we both celebrated our birthday together too, and for almost a six years trend already. But, you are still older than me for six days! *laughs* At the very least, I get to spend my 60 years old six days later than you do! haha wah, I'm thinking too far though. Heh ;p

Oh well, speaking of which we both always will meet up with so many unlucky events everytime we were to spend our day together, but of cos' unlucky in the sense that its funny, yeah? Haha far too many to list them all out but for others to know, this girl here can go senile when seeing cute guys and yeah so do I! haha cos' we're simply virgos! :) Too bad, I'm the more soft-hearted virgo, while you are the strong one! :( haha this girl here faces setbacks in her life strongly, though at times she will start yelling to me about her problems but baby, I always wanted to let you know that you are one of the luckiest girl God ever send down to earth and yeah he send you down to me too! =)

How can I ever live without having you? Or maybe vice-versa? haha whatever it is, baby you are everything to me. Remember you told me before if anything were to happen to me, three-quarter of your life will be wasted? Well, I'm telling you now that it goes the same for you too. How the hell ever could we live without each other? Who will ever bare to let you bully at all times? Who can endure that man? Hmph! haha *laughs** ;) Nah, I was just kidding alrights.

By the way, my little sweetheart, happy six years for both our precious friendship! :) All the memories of you & me will never ever leave me.
I'll love you always, even till the last ever breath i were to breathe. Be happy always ya! =) ~~Brenda&Esther~~ forever yours, Esther,
18 November 2004

2004-11-18T01:40:00.000+08:00

[[ 2nd Sept. 02 ]] two years back.. Michelle, Samantha & Me :) Heh.. Just to wish Samantha a sweet lovely 16.. Dear babe, today is ya birthday so do enjoy to the max k!hehe peace out girls! **hugss**

2004-11-18T01:11:00.000+08:00

This is us baby@Sentosa--A day at the beach! -=*Brenda & Me*=- ;)

2004-11-17T20:59:00.000+08:00

`` Majidah & Me '' :) 6 Nov 2004 -- her birthday! heh dear girl, take good care of yourself alrights? Remember I let you hear "When you believe" sang by Mariah Carey&Whitney Houston? Cos' baby when you believe everything will have its way of working things out..Be strong&be happy!~sMiles:)

2004-11-17T19:12:00.000+08:00

Me :)

2004-11-17T18:51:00.000+08:00

@ sch.. [[Royce&Me]] haha royce, remember? the last day for you? Royce-- hehe.. well,i'm very touched indeed that you came to look for me the other day&sharing your problems with me..My dear friend, everything will be alright ya! As long as you face it strongly, nothing's gonna be wrong.. I'll be there! Be happy =)

2004-11-17T16:46:00.000+08:00

~~ My best friend, Shermen & I ~~ See, buddy..be happy like you always do! sMiles :)

This part for my best friend, Shermen.

2004-11-17T15:58:00.000+08:00

When the world is all dark and dull for you,
please seek for me,
as I do care, do care so much for you.
There's not a doubt that life's has to go through many storms and to weather them all its rather hard..But baby, these storms are for you, for us all, to ovecome them and to be strong as we face each storms with different challenges.
Things are always easier said and hard to let it be done
But God didn't plan all these to let us suffer in a miserable state
God is fair
If you are feeling miserable, you are not alone.
Many others face a more challenging setbacks in theirs' lives, yet they seldom give up too.
So can you!
It takes time for wounds to be healed.
Just like having bruises on your body after a bad fall
It will be healed.
No matter how long time takes those wounds away from you, trust me you gotta be patient cos' somehow it will.
Though, leaving a scar behind is not a nice sight but at the very least, it has been healed.
Baby, don't give up.
Everytime when your feeling down, just remember there is still someone who cares for you.
And that someone is none other than me.
Don't be afraid, Don't be petrified.
The stars will soon be out to shine your world bright
Just like the saying goes: "If you want the rainbow, you must first learn to put up with the rain."
I really want you to be happy..
I don't know how to cheer you up totally cos' the only person who can cheer you up is you yourself.
The least I could do is to watch you being okay.
There's a strong part within you,
and I'm sure you will be alright so so soon!
Cheer up, my friend! May your world be light up by beautiful rays of the sun again.
The rain will soon be over.
God bless ya..
love always,
Esther
17th November 2004

Avril Lavigne -- My Happy Ending

2004-11-16T04:33:00.000+08:00

So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...Let's talk this over

It's not like we're dead

Was it something I did?

Was it something You said?

Don't leave me hanging In a city so dead

Held up up so high On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]

You were everything, everything that I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away

All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends

I know what they say

They tell you I'm difficult

But so are they

But they don't know me

Do they even know you?

All the things you hide from me

All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know you were there

Thanks for acting like you cared

And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all

Thanks for watching as I fall

And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

-- Just a piece of meaningful song to share--

This is how I'm feeling right now.. Its okay..I'm telling you I will move on and get this through.. I'm never gonna give away so much of my trust anymore ..

2004-11-16T03:31:00.000+08:00

[[ my best friend, Brenda&me ]]

2004-11-16T03:12:00.000+08:00

My pretty God-Sister, Snow, & Me ! ;)

2004-11-16T03:08:00.000+08:00

This is me-- putting on makeup for my sister's beautician's examinations thesis.

2004-11-16T03:05:00.000+08:00

This is me-- esther

[[ 15/11/04 ]]

2004-11-16T02:21:00.000+08:00

A newbie to blogger--
Hey guys! haha surprised to see me here? Well, its my first time creating such thing..haha blogger stuff?hmm i don't know a thing man..Hmm but I shall check it out man!heh;pP Share some stuffs with you peeps.. Alrights..Its past midnight now..time--02:24 and yeah I'm still online..I should be enjoying my sweet sleep now..What's more I gotta get up early for work tomorrow..Ecks! :( Hmm.. Had a bad day at work though..Got a little scolding from my mananger..Ahh.. Its part of working so yeah..learning to be strong each day at work, where everything seem so stressed up and I gotta adapt to working in a face-learning environment..There's more to learn*shrugs* I met up with my good friend cum bro, raymond, after my work.. We went for dinner and had some talk about each's others' lives..Well, time files.. Its gonna be christmas so soon..I will never forget how I celebrated my christmas a year ago..Its as though christmas was just yesterday..haha alrights..since time passes sooo darn fast, I guess I gotta make the best out of my life.. With my lovely family&friends around..I'm gonna move on from all my hurts that I went through all these while.. [[ cHeriSh ~~ ]] God bless ya~~ love... esther-naesse^helyanwe~